My mother-in-law gave me a book for my birthday this year. At first, I wasn't too excited to read it...thinking it was just another one of those feel good LDS books. I was wrong. The minute I picked it up, I haven't wanted to put it down, and I'm reading it through for the second time in like two weeks.
It's called I am A Mother, by Jane Clayson Johnson.
I feel so connected to this woman's ideas. I've been feeling and thinking so many things about motherhood lately (I mean, I am a first time mom with a 5 month old). I just think there are so many conflicting ideas out there.
I studied Medical Laboratory Science at BYU, graduated, and worked in a lab for a year and a half running blood tests and reading blood smears of cancer patients under a microscope. I loved it! I really did. I always knew that once we started our family I would quit and stay home and I anxiously awaited that. When it happened though, I was surprised to hear myself telling people, "Oh I used to work in a lab, but now I'm just a mom." .....What was wrong with being a mom? I had looked forward to it with great anticipation, and it was finally here! And here I was telling people I was 'just' a mom.
So onto Jane Clayson Johnson's words. You guys, this is good. I feel like it perfectly captures what I'm trying to articulate. That there is nothing 'less' about motherhood.
A couple of years ago, my husband and I attended a dinner meeting outside Washington D.C. The men in the room confidently and appropriately stated their professional achievements, which were impressive. They had degrees; they served on boards; they tended to patients and served clients; they had accomplished sons and daughters. Then their wives stood up - beautiful, intelligent, spiritual women. Many of them had served on boards, held degrees, were seasoned in their respective fields. But this is how they introduced themselves. "Oh, I'm just a mom."
When I heard these women say, "I'm just a mother," I was taken aback. Was I missing something? Did these lovely women, these experienced mothers, know something I didn't? Was it simply a matter of time before I'd figure it out? Before I, too would understand that motherhood was somehow of lesser importance? I was so bewildered by their comments that questions began to gnaw at me - What have I done? What have I done?
A chorus of, "I'm just a mother," juxtaposed with, "What will you be without you job?" and "You're making a terrible mistake" made me wonder, could they be right? Is it possible that motherhood is an insignificant, second-rate occupation? Had I made a bad decision? I thought I'd done everything right. I'd fasted and prayed. I'd felt such a powerful, spiritual confirmation that this was the right choice for me. Could it be that Heavenly Father would plan for me to walk away from something I loved for the 'misery' of being 'just' a mother?
What I have since learned is that God's definition of motherhood and the world's definition are vastly different. And sometimes - and probably all too often - the challenges, daily physical and emotional exhaustion, and occasional self-doubt that comes along with being a mother cause many of us to buy into an inaccurate and destructive understanding of our role. There just doesn't seem to be a lot of joy - or fulfillment - associated with the world's interpretation of motherhood.
But when we trust in the arm of the Lord rather than the voices of the world, everything changes. Neal A. Maxwell observed, "When the real history of mankind is fully disclosed, will it feature the echoes of gunfire or the shaping sound of lullabies? The great armistices made by military men or the peace-making of women in homes and in neighborhoods? Will what happened in cradles and kitchens prove to be more controlling than what happened in congresses?" (The Women of God. 10-11)
I see no 'justs' when I read those words. Instead I feel something: Honor. Responsibility. Awe. Hope. I begin to understand what the First Presidency of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has been quietly reminding mothers for years, that "motherhood is near to divinity," the "highest, holiest service to be assumed by mankind." (J. Reuben Clark Jr., Improvement Era, 761)
Amen sister.
Carry on.
